Comment by ajhenaor | Hacker News Reader

Comment by ajhenaor | Hacker News Reader

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The author of the article chiming in here...

Charisma is indeed a complex trait. That's why, in the article, I say:

"...it is not a single trait but a broad spectrum of traits that share things in common."

What I'm trying to convey here is that if you try to define charisma, no matter what definition you come up with, you will always leave many things outside its definition. Instead of trying to define it, I think it's better to explore the different traits that make a person charismatic. In the article, I decided to explore three of them: making meaningful connections, empathy, and warmth.

I agree there are many more traits that could describe a charismatic person. I also agree that "presence" might be one of the most important ones that were left out of the article.

Which brings us to an interesting question: What does it mean to be present?

Just as with Charisma, Presence is just another skill that is better not to define but to explore through the behaviors it displays.

"The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao..."

I thought recently of 'indiscriminate kindness'. Basically, I consciously tried to be kind to anyone I interacted with (provided they were not openly hostile to me), without discrimination. And I was amazed how many people I dismissed before, because there was nothing they could offer me, or they were threatening to me for some vague reasons. It was very tricky and more difficult to do than I thought. I tried to make it show in my voice and in my mannerisms.

And while I'm not very far into it yet, I did feel like I began seeing others more for their full humanity, if that makes sense. One of the more profound feelings is when you see another person, and you realize, he's just like you. And that can kinda pull your heartstrings in a weird way.

There's something to it.

I try to be kind to every single person I meet, it has said benefits, you open up their personality and understand them better. But as with all things it has a flip side. I have the tendency to be a pleaser and when there is abuse of that, or simply no acknowledgement, it can be depressing.

I guess I was thinking it as a kind of spiritual exercise, rather than something you do to make anyone happy with your smiles... The smiles mean nothing, really. What comes after that is what I find special. It's about taking proactive steps into growing that love, which is both universal and personal, instead of requiring circumstances to guide you there by the hand. Which it wont. Unless you're in a war, or something.

> The smiles mean nothing, really.

I see what you mean. I believe smiling often is mostly a personality treat, some of such personalities smile without deeper meaning.

A problem I seem to have is that i try to establish a deeper connection with many people and tend to get frustrated if it doesn't work out. Especially if it started with a wrongly interpreted meaningless smile.

If you could teach about those proactive steps, i'd be glad to be an apprentice.

Tao can Tao not constant Tao; Game can Game not constant Game

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

It's the opening of the Dao part of the Dao De Jing.

Traditionally:

道可道，非常道。名可名，非常名。"The Way can be spoken, [but that] is not the constant/permanent/unchanging Way. The name can be named, [but that] is not the [you know] name."

Mawangdui:

道可道也，非恆道也。名可名也，非恆名也。[Same thing, but with more overt grammar, making it clearer that the first and third clauses say "The X is something you can Y" and not "The X that can be Yed". This doesn't make "The Dao that can be spoken" wrong, but that nuance is coming from knowing the meaning of the whole thing, not directly out of the grammar of the text.]

You can use words to describe it, but you'll fail to capture the whole thing.

In the traditional text, but not the Mawangdui text, 非常 has become a very common intensifier [literally "unusually"] in modern Mandarin. Classically it's two unrelated words.

As long as we're having fun with it, I don't understand why the fake version of the opening isn't "Dao can dao, very dao. Name can name, very name". That is surely what a modern speaker will think when they see the text.

Couldn't say -- I'm just making a reference based on second-hand understanding of what the "literal" translation reads like. I hadn't heard about that bit being used as an intensifier, interesting.

It's worth noting that 道 is a noun referring to a path, and a verb referring to speaking, and while both of those words are used in the first two clauses, they aren't the same word. The author is engaging in a pun or play on words.

Apparently the Christians adopted 道 to translate their concept of the Holy Word, which is a fun use of both senses.

So, some tie-ins with "in the beginning was the Word" and "I am the Way", etc.?

Genuine openness seems to cover many of these traits.

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