I'm curious if your impression is mostly informed by what media have told you about how we feel, or if you have talked to any Americans about how we feel about the current administration...
It's not just the military. For example, a common argument I see for why the US can't have proper universal health care when so much of Europe manages to do it is that Europe is (supposedly) free-riding off of US medical R&D.
I'd also wager that a large part of this group doesn't think anyone should be helping Ukraine.
There's a difference between big EU countries (which have been skimping), and the small E. European countries which are more realistic about defence. Note Ukraine itself did a lot here.
>a common argument I see for why the US can't have proper universal health care when so much of Europe manages to do it is that Europe is (supposedly) free-riding off of US medical R&D.
US actually spends more. The trick is seeing where this expenditure goes ('greedy CEOs' is technically accurate, but not the biggest reason).
There were two years between these diplomatic efforts and now. What happened in the meantime? It's obvious EU could have invested more in defence. How come they get outcompeted by _North Korean_ defence industry?
Another thing - it's actually very easy to help Ukraine and punch Putin. Just place EU troops in Western Ukraine, to free up Ukrainians for the war. Putin will find out he has to agree to security guarantees otherwise he'll get literal troops in his face. EU statesmen are pressuring US for guarantees they are unwilling to give themselves, when they ought to do it for their own interests.
I think Trump is very very crass to say the least, but you also need to look at underlying realities, and EU behaviour has been poor.