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Ultimately it comes down to: you must trust your instance admin. (Just like you must trust Facebook and X and Tiktok and whomever else). As a result, maybe take private conversations somewhere safer, like Signal or a pgp conversation. If you don't trust your instance admin, why did you sign up with your instance?
Probably because you told them it was a cool OSS twitter alternative and not something that takes all of social media's moderation and privacy and content problems and multiplies them by the number of instances you join without any of the legal protections associated with being able to file civil or criminal complaints against an identifiable entity answerable to the laws of your country.
Do you comply with the CCPA or GDPR, or are the users on your instance empowered by being given the "choice" to give you unlimited access, use, and retention of their data without their informed consent, even when it violates civil and criminal law?
If you think data privacy laws are wrong and intend to violate them, you should say so in a way that makes informed consent possible. If you're comfortable with rationalizing violating informed consent in some ways, it kind of implies the "content in accordance with your preferences" may similarly contain content of non-consensual acts that are also illegal.