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If you're so against free SSl's with an option for shorter half life you could use a paid alternative? Not sure I understand your grip with a free service

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Free services are not immune to valid criticism, although I do think they are going a bit too far.

+1

"We really want to make sure you have automation, so certificate lifetimes have been reduced to 36 seconds; accounting for RTT and, in our generosity, time for a single timeout/retry" /s

Let it be my problem, please. I'll even use certbot or whatever is in fashion, just find another knob to turn [or don't].

By half-life do you mean the point at which you decide to renew the certificate prior to its actual expiry? Couldn’t you as a matter of policy decide to do this at, say 45 days, even with a cert that lasts for a year? If so, then the change to 99 day expiry isn’t giving you any more options or flexibility, it’s actually removing it.

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