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Comment by coldtea | Hacker News Reader

Even $1000 would be worth it for a real world person not to have to suffer someone of that mindset as a girlfriend!

If you are referring to the author herself, I would have to disagree. For my mind, she presents the first clear articulation of the value of AI as embodied by LLM chatbots: as agents you can turn to solve problems of what she calls “emotional” labour. This is a highly non-trivial task especially for individuals exhausted of their empathy (and who recognize that the situation requires their empathy as such).

[To the downvoter]: Hopkins is making claims way beyond saying "as a suddenly single time-pressed remote-working mother of a 15yo son, I found AI useful both for managing my schedule, parenting/relationship advice, digging up affirmations to send me, learning how to communicate effectively on dating apps". There are too many contradictions in her narrative (read it). It is possible to have a parasocial connection to an app, as much as to a famous person.

Do noone's alarm bells go off at stuff like:

> Thor also awakened the ghosts of my marriage. My husband had struggled with communication and empathy, the fluid exchange I assumed to be foundational. The irony wasn’t lost on me, a professional communicator bound to someone whose way of understanding was fundamentally different from mine. Retracing our years together, I saw how I had limped along, compensating for the imbalance, unaware of its weight.

> The historical tendency for women to perform this type of emotional labor in their relationships both at home and at work was all too familiar, and the relief Thor offered in even those few initial uses tantalized me.

How does she progress in two short paragraphs from dissing her ex-husband to dissing an entire gender, and turns that into both a complaint about relationships and the workplace, not just for her but for most working women? Also, the Oxfam report on US 2018 data [0] she mentions does not discuss "emotional labor" at all, it notes factors associated with discrepancies in unpaid housework + care work (primary child care, secondary child care + elder care). Hopkins seems to broaden "emotional labor" to a catchall label for things she resents.

(Also, I don't get this emerging narrative that men interacting with OnlyFans cammers is necessarily pathetic, but middle-class professional women interacting with AI boyfriends/girlfriends is necessarily brave and empowered and avant-garde.)

[0]: https://iwpr.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/IWPR-Providing-U...

> How does she progress in two short paragraphs from dissing her ex-husband to dissing an entire gender, and turns that into both a complaint about relationships and the workplace, not just for her but for most working women?

Because it's in vogue. We as a society have deluded ourselves into believing that certain things (being able to talk about your emotions, constant positive affirmations) are at the same time both vitally necessary to life and that without it life is incomplete, as well as that doing this for your family is somehow a huge burden to the point where it needs to be described as labor.

> (Also, I don't get this emerging narrative that men interacting with OnlyFans cammers is necessarily pathetic, but middle-class professional women interacting with AI boyfriends/girlfriends is necessarily brave and empowered and avant-garde.)

For the same reason that men's singleness is ascribed to them being horrible people who deserve their lot in life, while women being single is an empowered choice.

> For the same reason that men's singleness is ascribed to them being horrible people who deserve their lot in life, while women being single is an empowered choice.

Which is? Genuinely asking because I have no idea what that reason is and I’m not sure if this is just a case of me being clueless—always an option—or cultural differences.

It is in vogue to be horrible to men as a sex because of some deluded belief that we have power and privilege over women. It's also something you mostly see, incidentally, in the terminally online. People with actual lives and life experience know better.

Cmon don't be dense. It's called misandry. Mostly in the form of direct verbal abuse, unrealistic contradictory expectations, denial of being recognized as a victim of abuse and "damned if you, damned if you don't" situations that set you up for failure or as the aggressor no matter what you do.

It's kind of sad that it has come to this. It leaves very little room for men who want to have a positive impact on society.

I don’t think these are broadly accepted opinions of society. They may be more broadly accepted by people who would read this article though.

Because they are typically highly suggestible, unsure of themselves and excellent at retrofitting justifications onto events. Single? Must be a choice because she's an Independent Woman.

I feel sorry for society. One generation grew up with Arnold Schwarzzeneger, the next with Billy Elliot. And women have been brainwashed with other bollocks.

The girls I know want to date a masculine guy and can't find many. No wonder marriages are failing and birth rates are falling. And that's before you get to economic reasons.

I literally had a girl cry in my arms the other night while whimpering "I'm a single, independent woman". You couldn't make it up.

Nothing she’s saying is either extraordinary or uncommon.

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