I Paid $70 for an AI Boyfriend. It Was So Worth It

I find it very difficult to respect dogs because they tend to be so shallow. I don't really want a pet that's hopelessly dependent on me for validation. There's a type of person who enjoys that kind of companion ("man's best friend"), but to me it would be too much of a chore. I would dread having to take one out on walks, take them outside to leave "presents" which I then have to also clean up, etc. It's just too much work for me, and it would be neglectful to the dog for me not to. It's better for me to just not dog.

Cats actually seem to have complex emotion, and for me that makes it a lot more meaningful to take care of them. When my cats come to me for petting or cuddles it's because they actually enjoy being around me, not because the only thing in the world that matters to them is my attention. They feel a lot more like equals than dogs do.

Sometimes my cats aren't as interested in me at the moment because they miss somebody else in the family instead. They have the ability to miss other people and to want to be with that specific other person who they miss! I don't know how to explain it, but I empathize with cats and more like sympathize with dogs. To me, it's like dogs are "dumb animals" whereas cats are practically people.

I don't know, maybe that's being too harsh on dogs. I don't mean to be harsh, they just don't really feel for me at all. I don't want to get a pet just to feel above them. That just doesn't feel like a good reason and it's not something I look for.

Nothing, apart from it being a new option. It is part of a broader phenomenon.

You admittedly never participated, so don't know what you missed out on.

For everyone else, in your teens and 20s you're more often complimented, flirted with, hung out with, everything. By your late 20s or so that fades fast. After all, there are new 20 year olds to flirt with.

And while it doesn't really register or hurt except when you think about it, when you get a single compliment it makes you miss it all. Probably no different than an old sports star being useful and celebrated again.

The only missing link to that theory for me is why young people get hooked on them, too.

Which is? Genuinely asking because I have no idea what that reason is and I’m not sure if this is just a case of me being clueless—always an option—or cultural differences.

I feel sorry for society. One generation grew up with Arnold Schwarzzeneger, the next with Billy Elliot. And women have been brainwashed with other bollocks.

The girls I know want to date a masculine guy and can't find many. No wonder marriages are failing and birth rates are falling. And that's before you get to economic reasons.

I literally had a girl cry in my arms the other night while whimpering "I'm a single, independent woman". You couldn't make it up.

> Relationships require conscious effort (labour) to maintain.

Absolutely not. You can just live in a relationship and labor no more than you would be living alone. I know because I've done both for extended period of time. The presence of the other person should make your life easier not harder (and vice versa). Good relationship is when you and your partner do only things each wants to do and do them for yourselves not for each other. You offer generously, you accept graciously, you thank profusely.

Anything else is tainted by transactionality and becomes balancing act and harder and harder as relationship ages and/or life becomes harder. That's why so many relationships break down. Transactionality gets off balance in perception of one party or the other.

Finding a person you could have a good relationship with is harder than finding a person you could have some relationship with obviously. But it's worth it. In 14 years a word chore didn't pop up once and neither any disagreement about money. Of course some of it is finding the right person but a lot can be done just by having proper framework of what life and relationships are (not labor) and leading by example.

> The first few years tend to feel perfect for most relationships, even those that turn really sour after that. I would wait at least 10 years to reach any conclusions.

In my opinion that's mostly because labor gets in the way. Once you perceive relationship I'm terms of labor you no longer ask yourself "am I happy?". You ask yourself "am I getting screwed?" and since it's superhard to balance things that don't innately tend to equilibrium there's always some imbalance which brings resentment. In this framework lasting relationships are only the ones where both parties are feeling like they are getting at least 110% of what they are putting in. But since it's reevaluated constantly and economics and attraction evolves it still most often eventually lands on less than 100% for one or both parties which breeds resentment and makes the relationship fall apart through negative interactions.

Labor actually harms relationships because while it might raise the evaluation of what the other person is getting from you it also rises the evaluation of how much you are putting in which might make your perceived return drop below 100%.

When you abandon the concept of labor you do things for yourself and if those things happen to be benefitting the other person enough so that being with you is easier than being alone they will stay in that relationship. And the other way around. It still may fall apart of course at any point if you doing things for yourself starts making the life of the other person harder than it would be if they were apart from you. But at least you don't have this narrative layer of being responsible or indebted to each other which makes not only relationship more amicable but also severing it. That kind of hostility that you see in divorce is what happens to people brains when perceptions of unsettled debt are involved. This state of mind can turn perfectly ordinary people into vindictive monsters.

> If you did find a perfect partner: how long have you been together?

14 years, she wasn't perfect but she instinctively had the right framework and taught me it through living it with me, I sort of investigated it, distilled and verbalized it since she was gone

Since our relationship didn't involve labor it only got stronger with time. It was never off balance because no one was keeping score. And when you are living with other person having positive interactions with them your brain includes their benefit in your own reward circuits. This can also happen in transactional relationships but I believe labor narrative gets in the way. You don't like the smell of your nice car so much if you believe to be overpaying for it 25%.

If you're interested about what I have to say about relationships or for more context please check my response to a sibling comment.