Tolerance for behavior, as long as we don't disagree with it

I can tolerate everything, except the outgroup of course

Well but that's not how a lot of people interpret it

I would very much agree this is the case. But it's not how a lot of people think

No that would contradict freedom of association. People are free to form closed, self-censoring groups if they choose to. What we want to avoid is the government forcing it on people.

The paradox of tolerance specifically states that one must not be tolerant of intolerance. Hence, a paradox.

Tolerance is a social contract of leaving alone others whose ways differ from your own so long as they do the same for you.

One must not tolerate those that call for violence and subjugation of differing groups, which is almost the exact opposite meaning your comment seems to be implying in my reading of it, instead calling for wholly unfiltered speech by whosoever should deem to speak.

Racists and similar hatemongers calling for others to tolerate them while they are screaming for those they disparage to be caste down and out cannot be tolerated in any reasonable forum.

As such, any reasonable forum must ban some facets of free speech.

That we disallow this power for governments is a reasonable limit on the powers of the elected to rule, lest those powers be abused.