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Comment by namaria | Hacker News Reader

Things that have worked for me: modulate voice tone - lots of people tend to strive for a monotone voice for some reason, and it sounds rather boring and drone like; pyramid principle - start with the main thing and fill out details later, building up to something tends to make people drift off; brevity is the soul of wit - don't emphasize things by rephrasing ideas, don't hammer on points that have been made, don't pile on jokes, keep the conversation moving; pass the ball - don't try to hold the groups attention, be aware of opportunities to add to the conversation and let it keep flowing away from you often.

> someone says something I find relatable

That's a key point. You're seeing things you find interesting as opportunities to add to the conversation. Flip this around, try to look for things that others would find interesting.

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> That's a key point. You're seeing things you find interesting as opportunities to add to the conversation. Flip this around, try to look for things that others would find interesting.

Hard disagree. Don't try to be someone you are not. The most interesting TED talks are not held because the speaker found a topic you are interested in. They exist because the speaker has a fascination about something that he explored and now talks about. Often this fascination is infectious and because the speaker has a way of explaining it, and talking that catches your attention. This would probably not interest you as much, if the speaker would not find it interesting.

Talk about things you like, not what you think other people like. If your friends are bored by that, then it's perhaps time to find friends that aren't.

The most interesting TED talks (to you) are also presumably on topics that you’ve selected to watch. In random conversation, you may need to Taylor your responses to the situation. The idea that friends are the people who exclusively share topics of interest and therefore are infinitely interested in hearing each other speak is not realistic. This is a social skill that (s)he’s trying to develop.

I understand what you're saying but I never advised anyone to change personalities and group conversations are not TED talks.

I merely pointed out something that helped me: instead of sharing tidbits that amount to "I find this relatable because...", I realized that when I came from a place more like "You all might find this interesting because..." people responded better.

Good advice. What you say, how to say it, how much you say. Eye contact

Good point - it works well in a group setting to look around and make eye contact as you speak. It makes others feel included in the conversation.

Agree w what's said here.

Pass the ball if u want the ball. It's a team sport.

Be brief and on point.

Use your emotions.

Listen.

I often have a monotone .. tone but all I get is yawning.

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