I honestly cannot imagine living with these thought patterns, it truly sounds like hell to me. You don’t need to do hard things or overcome adversity every day to have purpose and find life fulfilling, it is an Infinite Game (read the book), not a Finite one.

If you are reading the comments, IMO these giant grand gestures to find some spark of insight (climbing mountains, moving to Hawaii, etc.) aren’t going to accomplish what you want. Ground yourself - go volunteer at a homeless shelter. Get a hobby that is social that you have no innate skill for, don’t tell anyone about your money, make some friends while learning a low-pressure skill. Don’t do anything until after the first day you didn’t worry about what you were going to do. Recover from your burnout.