Caveat lector: This is simply a retelling of my personal experience, YMMV. This is not advice.
What has consistently worked for me: I stopped applying for jobs, and redirected all that effort into creating and publishing open source projects that demonstrate competence in the areas of work I want. And, just as importantly, I contribute to big established open source projects in those areas too.
I did not apply for my current job (started 6 months ago): they solicited me, based on my open source work. All the best jobs I've had have been like that, this is the 3rd time it worked.
When I'm unemployed, I only apply for jobs I actually want, typically spending an hour each on 0-2 extremely targeted applications per week. But I treat churning out new open source stuff as my full time job until somebody notices. In addition to successfully landing me three great jobs over the past decade, this approach has made me a much much better programmer.
Also, I strongly believe spending hours a day writing new code will enhance your ability to pass technical interviews much more than gamified garbage like leetcode.
A huge part of making this work is not living a typical valley lifestyle: I plan my life around the median national salary for a software engineer, and when I'm making more than that it all goes straight into my savings. In the bay, that requires living frugally (by bay standards...), but I can't even begin to put into words how grateful I am to past-decade-me for living like that and giving today-me the freedom to turn down the bad jobs and wait for the good ones. Obviously, I don't have children.
I do a lot more open source than a typical programmer in the valley, but I don't think I'm "exceptional" in any sense: you just have to put in the work. I do feel like I was very lucky to start my career in an extremely open-source-centric role, and in fairness that gives me a leg up here which I am probably inclined to underestimate.