80% of Americans live near where they were born. This isn’t the root cause of estrangement.
edit found this https://themortgagepoint.com/2024/08/20/most-americans-stay-...
“The Typical American Lives Only 18 Miles From Mom” https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-f...
“More than half of Americans live within an hour of extended family” https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/05/18/more-than...
Someone 45 minutes away might as well require a flight, as far as I’m concerned
(I know that's not the real inverse square equation just having fun)
I lived 7 miles from a close friend. I liked getting to go to his place once a month or so. He lives in a large apartment complex. One friend moved into the same building. They see each other several times a week and his children go over to visit these friends whenever they feel like it. Similarly another friend moved a block away and they see each other far more regularly.
I live 300 miles from where I grew up. Going to "back home" to visit is a big deal and so we don't do it often. Not only is two days lost in travel (technically it is 5-6 hours to drive, but it still wastes most of the day); we can't go home to our beds and so that means we need to get a hotel or sleep on floors - both have downsides. Thus we only consider this trip over long weekends. Visiting us is a similar effort for my siblings and so I rarely see them anymore. (don't get me started on visiting my in-laws who are over 1000 miles away - suffice to say we need a full week off to consider that)
In short, if you can do so I strongly recommend you live close to your friends and family and not move away. However there are many reasons why someone cannot do this.
7 miles might mean a 7 minute drive, or 90 minutes on poor public transit stuck in traffic. When I lived in my previous place, someone 7 miles away would have been a regular daily friend. Now, I would not see someone more than every few months since 7 miles is the equivalent of a 45 minute drive most hours of the day in most directions unless they happen to live right next to rapid transit.
My closest friends here in the city live a 7 minute and 18 minute walk away. I see them about as much as I'd have seen someone living 5-10 miles away from my previous location. The only real difference is the ability to drink while visiting.
I have noticed that if friends move even an hour outside of the city, you are lucky to see them 4x a year.
It's not much different from moving across the country (typically).
Additionally, 20% of a friend group moving away (1 in 5 people) can be enough to breakup what once was a a solid friend group.
Yes, there's other things at play.
But I definitely think this is the major driver.
https://asteriskmag.com/issues/08/the-myth-of-the-loneliness...