(Don't hold back.)
Own any Apple products?
Not enough money for apple products and don't need any.
And your typical UU congregation doesn't even let God in the door, let alone promote any especial belief except 'dude, whatever, let's talk about it'.
Now if we're talking about actually competing with the Roman Catholic Church, well… yeah, tough luck.
One of the reasons I had a miserable time living in Cambridge, MA was because the synagogue I tried to join was primarily filled with very secularized, particularly wealthy, overwhelmingly middle-aged academics and businessmen. The kind of "Jews" who'll go out to a paid restaurant for Sabbath dinner every Friday night, but won't order meat because they're vegetarians.
This was an exact non-match to a 22-year-old, religiously inclined, left-wing kid who writes code for a living.