In my opinion, life is just self-replicating tumbleweeds of matter that drift towards local spaces with high energy. The ideal "shape" of these tumbleweeds is gradually approximated via the algorithm of evolution, filtering out the tumbleweeds that fly too close to the sun and so on. Intelligence becomes an emergent property of these optimal shapes, but intelligence doesn't change the outcome, broadly speaking, they still drift towards local spaces with high energy.

Individual organisms will live their life perusing energy, with every breath, with every meal. Even super organisms, such as a nation, will (attempt to) peruse energy in the form of a thriving economy, which influences the energy allocation of the organisms that make it up.

Even absent these tumbleweeds, high density matter (high energy) will literally bend space, and attract other matter to itself through gravitational force. It's entirely different than what I've already discussed, yet intuitively similar?

How does this apply to the fermi paradox? Maybe the idea that the algorithm of evolution will eventually lead to life self-propagating across the universe is flawed. Maybe the spirit of exploration is not universal. Maybe the the simple fact that interstellar travel and communication is energy inefficient is enough to explain the aggregate effect we are seeing?