I'll do small talk, but it's more boring than mowing the lawn with a pair of scissors. I find large gatherings completely boring, with nothing but noise involved because, well.. it's all just meaningless chatter.
Maybe some people aren't introverts, just "talking to more than a few people means this is dumb" verts.
The trick I’ve found is to make the conversation more interesting, if you think it’s boring. 9 times out of 10 everyone is just jonesing for someone to take it somewhere fun, but afraid to make the first step. YOU can make that step.
Sometimes I ask people about their internal monologue, can they change its perceived voice? Do they even have one? That often sparks some interesting conversations.
Not in 2024. You're 100% going to get a person who's going to get offended and make a scene.
1. They're boring
2. Their opinion on me matters
But even if it's true, at least it won't be boring, right?
I notice other people do this to. And there are even different skill levels to how smooth they can cut into the story tellers.
I was expecting to read "derail" there, but that's not bad either - I mean, it's bad, but in a deranged way ...
On a bad day it will drain my energy to the point where I truly lose most of my ability to function and need significant time to recover.
I figured out that some people are "relators" and some people are "analyzers and askers" and it's usually the latter that is much more fun to talk to. But I know that two "relators" who seem to talk past each other often also seem to enjoy this method.
For at least some of them, that is them relating to the person.
Being quiet at bigger gatherings is a different thing.
Not everybody is made to ride a wave of people. But you can find a way to enjoy it in a different fashion. I find it true for a lot of situations, actually.
You don't have to follow all the rules.
Maybe it's because it's more difficult to find shared topics of conversation. Or maybe people tend to avoid deeper topics because intimacy is lost. Or maybe there's some other group dynamic at play (family stuff etc).
Work (generally not a great idea at parties, maybe a bit more acceptable if it's hosted at work, or if you do something really unusual that others find interesting, and are able to talk about it in layman's terms).
Sports (I like sports well enough but am not passionate about any team or sport. I cannot add much to a conversation about specific players, games, coaches, statistics, strategy).
Wine, whiskey, tequila, food: See Sports, above.
Their kids or their vacations or other bragging. Nobody cares.
Reminiscing about some experience that a group of them had together. Hard to join in, if you're not part of that group or that experience.
Politics, conspiracies. Just no.
Interesting people who talk to people they don't already know are rare.
Understanding it means understanding both your perspective on it, and other peoples' perspective on it, at the same time. That's most peoples' reason for wanting to interact with random people. They see it as an opportunity to refine their understanding of Thing, whatever it might be.
I'm sure not, but fun to imagine this written by someone I know.