I understand where you're coming from.
Good news on a few of those points, but not all of them.
> I might feel so entrenched in my process that I can’t figure out where to start.
This is the easy one. You can just tell them that, in those words, with what you're up to, and they suggest stuff back in English. (And if you're not a native English speaker, use your native language and many will respond in that language instead of in English).
> The current crop of offerings only interest me from a self hosted point of view.
My experience with current self-hosted ones is… they're not worth bothering with. (But also, my machine is limited in the model size it can use locally, so this may not impact you so much).
> I’m interested in an ai that is aligned with closely to my own world view. If there is a bias built in I would rather be generated by me.
Good news here, but for what I consider to be bad reasons. They're often wildly sycophantic, so they'll often display whatever bias they "think" you have.
> When this ai wave first started the story was it was so complex the origin of the answers was considered in unauditable. Which I took as deceptive or the pushers didn’t understand what they were doing.
It's getting slightly better, but unfortunately the problem is mostly the "don't understand", there's too many different teams for me to feel it's deceptive. If you really need auditable results, I'd stay away from them too — they're definitely not in the vein of AI that CYC ever was.