Most people don't try hard at the gym. Most people don't try hard at music. Most people aren't comedians.

This reads like the foreword to the incel handbook.

> ...my family kept pressuring me to attain real success, girls, money and car and i became a programmer.

As a child of the 80s and 90s, "getting girls as a programmer" made me snort. Nerds do seem to have it a bit better now; the money/financial security of software development helps. But as a whole, we developers are still less socially capable than our sales/hr/marketing counterparts

"A loser in societal view"... What does that objectively mean? That only reads like you had or have a low sense of self worth. It must've been your perceived definition of what society is because how could you have come to such a conclusion? I think I'd actually subconsciously tend more to viewing someone as "a loser" if they made such a statement because it comes off as self victimization (without an apparent explanation to an outside observer).

And what's the shtick about girls? What are and were you looking for, love and a genuine relationship or attention to compensate for something? Personally I think your values and personality are what matter most and personality is usually what people fall in love with. Though charisma can help a lot to get the ball rolling. Most of what it takes is to treat people normally and nicely and you will have as much of a chance to find love as most people.

Though respect from peers and attention from women ideally shouldn't be your driving force. I think curiosity and passion are much better driving forces that don't involve such external factors and possibilities for insecurities.

Your post reads as if it expresses a frustration and a sense of entitlement. You may not be intrinsically entitled to the things you think you are. Think about that for a bit and try to be rational.

You will stay a loser as long as you care about what some fictional mystical society thinks of you.

Do the stuff you're good at, provide for your family, earn the respect of your peers and forget about the rest.

This just demonstrates that you dont understand how sexual selection works. For men, yes, aesthetic appearance is a considerable (main?) component in initial attraction, which is further tempered by compatible personality after that initial connection. For women, social value is the principle signifier, which is then tempered by facial symmetry, not demonstrating socially unacceptable habits and having sone degree of physical security, but the latter is the most variable across cultures.

Handsome men are largely irrelevant.