Amateur radio rules and spectrum were carved out by the FCC for the purposes of advancing the science of radio, international goodwill, and building one's own skills. By definition, it is deliberately not "useful" (with the exception of emergency communications, as you point out) and that is very much by design. Making it useful would mean it could compete with commercial radio services, which the FCC does not allow.

So we're left with, ham radio exists for science, fun, and the occasional rare emergency when all other communications are down. And that's okay! The hobby is deep and wide. No person can master it all. Every ham is on their own personal journey to dive down the rabbit holes that interest them. I'm personally about knee-deep in research for putting together a portable HF station that can operate a contest for the bulk of a weekend on just solar. I've put hours of reading into it and I still know practically nothing. And I'm loving every minute of it.

If you've only encountered "old white dudes" in ham radio, you haven't gone very far. (I challenge you to find any skilled hobby that isn't represented by some population of old white dudes.) Most clubs accept members from anywhere if they have online meetings or nets, and the more urban and college-town clubs tend to be pretty diverse. There are clubs just for young people, there are clubs just for women. There are online communities which tend to be pretty welcoming and intolerant of rude behavior (hello /r/amateurradio). But the ARRL doesn't promote them, you have to go looking for them yourself.