> it's one of the weirdest, most niche ways possible to flex wealth
What you're saying here is factually incorrect, it's actually the most enduring and widespread way to flex wealth, and it has been common to nearly all cultures for thousands and thousands of years.
In fact this behavior is apparently so innate to our existence that it seems to have developed completely independently in isolated societies. Both the Queen of England and the Aztec King had the habit of draping their body in hand-crafted finework jewelry, precious metal, and gems.
The phenomenon is shared by neighborhood drug dealers, the CEO of Goldman Sachs, wealthy Chinese heiresses, and Polynesian village chiefs. And maybe your wife.