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PHP still can't access email inboxes inherently, can't do CSV import, can't download packages from GitHub the way Bundler can, doesn't support metaprogramming, has a hacked-together OOP system, and has an absolutely horrid syntax.

Why am I meant to use PHP again?

Oh yeah, because you haven't discovered Ruby yet.

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Uh, Ruby can't do most of that out of the box either. Lots of those things you mention you need gems for.

And really? Can't do CSV import? What does that even mean?

I mean, it's a programming language. There are packages you can get that will do those things, and if there aren't, you program them.

I'll give you the point on the syntax.

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