Yeah in Iran we had something like a hose and it was everywhere. It was so good. Still we make fun of westerners cause they have poopy butts. Unfortunately now i have a poopy butt also :/
Bidets are becoming more common in the US, so laugh while you can. We seem to be shedding the unsavory cultural connections the US made with them after WW2.
When I eat crap food, that's when I need a lot of toilet paper.
Somehow other animals don't need toilet paper.
In fairness, other animals very often could use some cleaning in that area.
I like bidets, but I hardly need them. When I build my next house, it will have bidets.