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Comment by giantg2 | Hacker News Reader

"Can your personal experiences with other people be so bad that it is actually beneficial for you in the long run to stay in solitude? If so, thats an indicator that some people are really horrible."

It might not be dependent only on your own experiences or even on specific people. If you have a significant number of friends going through rough relationships or divorces, what's the upside? Why bother getting married if the perceived risks outweigh the perceived benefits? As a society, we overestimate the benefits and heavily underestimate the risks. You can even see this baked into our laws in the asymmetric requirements/counseling to get married vs get divorced.

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I am fully on your side. The asymmetry, or shall we call it sexism, in how divorces are handled, is definitely a contributing factor for younger men to no longer aim for marriage. If you look at it rationally, its simply too high a risk that you will get treated unfairly down the road in a few years.

I agree, but my original asymmetric comment was about how it's so easy to get married but is painful to get divorced. Making a massive legal decision of getting married doesn't require counseling, but most divorces require counseling sessions. Most people get lawyers for a divorce, but very few people get lawyers (or counseling, or financial consults) before marriage. So it seems all the focus is on the aftermath with new laws, regulations, or rulings on how to handle divorce with no focus on preventative education.

Oh yeah, young men have figured out the game and are done with marriage. There's only one statistic you need to know which is that 8 out of 10 divorces are initiated by the woman.

Why the fuck would any man marry ever again once he knows that? The odds are against you. Marriage and reproduction are such a fundamental thing that this took a couple generations to kick in after divorce laws were liberalized, but the jig is up now.

In what proportion of those marriages did the partner not initiating the divorce want the marriage to continue? Because without knowing that, this just tells is who more likely to act first.

>this just tells is who more likely to act first

Which is irrelevant as that doesn't seem to be biased towards any specific sex.

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