You're pretty much onto the crux of the situation. Lets put it mildly, its a rare case that the parents of a disabled child/person truly understand their needs/desires/wishes/dreams. Its much more common that the barrier that appears between disabled and non-disabled people will persist, and will not get broken down. Most disabled people I know (and I am disabled myself) basically had to run away from home to get some degree of freedom. Its a rather sad thing, which involves a lot of things, mostly the trauma of the parents which they likely never overcome. And the desire of the disabled peerson to gain some independence. Which is usually not compatible with family.