Comment by etothepii | Hacker News Reader

Comment by etothepii | Hacker News Reader

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I can't read the article as I'm on my phone but would have been interested. As a Founder of a small B2B SaaS company I am often at events where I know almost no people where I would like to get to know lots of people.

It's probably blindingly obvious to others but the following rules have served me well.

1. Never approach a group that is evenly distributed around a circle. So if 2 people are opposite or 4 or a square don't engage. Do multiple loops until you find a group you can approach.

2. Have a good magic trick. I have a very nice one that involves a pack of playing cards and then involves a lot of eye contact while I "read your face" to work out the card.

I have found 99% respond yes to "would you like to see a magic trick?". It works equally well on CEOs as it does students.

FWIW, I’d say yes out of politeness (“not really” would make the both of us pretty awkward) but I’d be embarrassed the whole time, while at the same time not giving a damn about whatever the trick is. And having had conversations about magic tricks before, I know that I’m far from the only one.

That being said, if it works for you that’s great! Just pointing out that a yes doesn’t mean success in these situations

Part of what makes starting out in social situations difficult is that any strategy which is usually successful with some people will make others uncomfortable. I'd suggest it is almost an iron rule, since any especially successful strategy will probably be seen as manipulation by the minority of people who just loathe being influenced by others. Disagreeable people are out there (although they'd probably like to argue about that). So you being polite but embarrassed doesn't imply much.

I think the better criticism, if we want to look for them, is that doing a magic trick only works because it is a novelty. If every interaction with someone new started with a magic trick it'd be even more bizarre than the social rituals we already have.

Perhaps, but this is where the body language part comes in. Don't walk up to those evenly distributed circle around a circle.

What's your reasoning for #1?

I don't have a source. Probably a YouTube video. Having deployed it my anecdotal experience supports it is a heuristic. I now treat it as a ceremony.

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