I mean, it's fun and interesting bullshit that cheats a lot. I'm sure that you could emulate a MIPS using a one-bit processor like the MC14500[0] with enough supporting hardware, real or virtual. Looking forward to it, Dimitry.
Bit of course you can solve this by sending letters speculatively, and having Dave keep copies of his letters back to you so he reference them for recently set values, that way you can at least keep Dave busy while the letters are in flight.