She is convinced that she nonetheless needs the $7,000 one or at least a used "real" diamond for reasons I cannot comprehend.
Your wife is concerned with that social value. The actual physical qualities of the stones aren't really that important. Social status is.
A ring rich in gold, platinum, rubies, or emeralds would at least hold its value well by comparison.
That's why jewelry with obvious resale value doesn't work as well, nor does anything that can be seen as investment or an utility purchase: the signal only works if you're wasting money on a vanity purchase - one large enough to show that you either have more money than you know what to do with, or at least that you care so much about recipient that you're willing to sacrifice a meaningful chunk of your wealth on a gesture.
Of course few will say this out loud, or even think about this explicitly. Diamonds, engagement rings, and all the other staples of romance are in big part a status game that people learn to play from childhood, so to most, those things feel like something natural to do.
My wife was pragmatic. I said we could put $5k on a stone that has no intrinsic value or $5k on FNILX at time of marriage and take a blast of vacation one year later when it’s turned into ~$5500.
She chose vacation and we had a blast in Europe. Good vibes per dollar spent is where it’s at.
https://nationaljeweler.com/articles/12184-steven-singer-jew...