Hacker News Reader

Comment by yial | Hacker News Reader

My father turned 70 this last weekend. Whenever I read of someone’s passing, I feel now this weight of how much longer I have left to get to know him. Because I don’t. I find it hard to, as while we can chat amiably on the phone, in person we don’t get along well for long.

I lack the words to fully share what I’m trying to, but I think there’s a tremendous beauty in creating. It takes a unique talent to create from raw materials.

There’s some comparison I can’t quite articulate - between the stone mason dust- and that on some level we’re all just stardust.

Apologies for rambling here. I’m not sure it adds anything.

View on HN

It served to remind me to be grateful my dad is still alive and to engage in a similar reflection.

I’ve heard people say that while you have the chance, you should sit down and interview your father. The other day I happened to stumble on a list of questions one might ask:

1. What is your best memory of your own father?

2. What did you have as a child that kids today are missing?

3. What has life taught you about love?

4. What are the three most important values in life?

5. What was the moment you were most proud of me?

6. What do you wish most for your children?

7. What is the most importantly family tradition you’d like us to keep?

Those are great but all really family oriented. Sometimes it’s nice to remember they aren’t just dads.

My dad doesn’t usually express much emotion or enthusiasm, but one day he told me about a group trip he had taken at 18 across Europe. He got very animated and enthusiastic describing how he became the coolest guy on the trip. Multiple girls liked him, and the guys wanted to be friends with him. He was never popular in high school but during those 3 months he felt on top of the world.

As he told the story it became apparent to me that this trip was the happiest and most exciting time of his life. I’m sure if you asked him he would name his wedding or our births, but watching him talk about this trip I knew his eyes wouldn’t light up in the same way recalling those events.

Anyway, there is this boundary of sterility between me and my Dad. So he would have never told me: “go travel across Europe while young and get into drunken shenanigans while dating multiple girls.”, directly, but he finally did tell me in a way by sharing his story.

You bet. Not only did he tell, he showed you, by virtue of that fire lighting him up.-

> lack the words to fully share what I’m trying to > Apologies for rambling here. I’m not sure it adds anything.

That wasn't rambling. You contributed by sharing a beautiful point.-

Reply on news.ycombinator.com