> Nobody actually shuts down his laptop before chucking it in his bag.

I do. I had a few poor experiences with laptops accidentally turning on while in the bag between 1995 and 2010.

After the last time, in 2010, when the thing started beeping due to overheating, I started the habit of shutting down/hibernating completely instead of just closing the lid and popping it into the bag.

They don't, but the problem is the laptop manufacturers and/or Microsoft have fucked up the implementation sufficiently that it's no longer a safe operation.

I have opened my backpack to find it very hot because my laptop accumulated a bunch of heat in its cushioned pouch and subsequently drained all it's battery

I know more than one person who ended in the ER with a perforated eardrum because of qtips. I honestly don't understand why we haven't outlawed them yet (in countries with universal healthcare, in the US you could just have a more expensive health insurance if you choose to use them).

It is not nonsense. I had my laptop turning on from sleep mode inside my bag and getting really hot, because of idiotic Windows 7 settings back then, which turned the device on, when networks changed. It is just ridiculous. Probably still in there that default. Since that day, I always shutdown my device completely.

Don't conclude from your own carelessness to others. Even just one person shutting down their laptop will instantly disprove your claim, that "nobody does XYZ". So you will basically almost always be wrong with such a statement/claim.

I learned to turn my XPS 17 off after it almost cooked itself in my backpack a few times.

What an awful laptop.