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The wording in the fraud cancellation emails gave me a good laugh.

"My payment provider said you used a stolen credit card. Why did you do that? I've revoked your access."

That gave me a chuckle too. The list of "reasons someone would use a stolen credit card" is what, 2 options?

There are 2 options? I can only think of "I'm a person with poor ethics who wants to get something without paying for it".

The other actually happened to me recently, my wife answered one of those automated bank texts checking on a transaction with no, which cancelled the card (and marked it stolen), and I tried to use it before she told me about it.

But yeah those are the only two I can think of and yours is the case 99.99% of the time.

I feel this should be shortened into a haiku.

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