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Comment by iteria | Hacker News Reader

Honestly, I think we need more shame. People feel so righteous doing these things to employees because their establishments bend over backwards to accommodate customers. We need more store bans and public shaming. People shouldn't think this is okay and should experience consequences for it.

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Honestly, I agree. Bullies and assholes only continue because there are rarely any consequences for their actions, and because in some cases society will bend over backwards to help them to avoid the hassle. If companies are terrified to ban customers, and will even give them discounts/free products to get them out of their hair, what incentive do these customers have to act like decent people?

On the other hand, if the bans start coming and everyone enacts a zero tolerance setup for abusive customers, they'll realise their mistake soon enough when half the town doesn't let them shop there. Companies just need to put their workers first, and realise that assholes are not valuable customers.

Bullies and assholes often act that way because it's the only way they know how to soothe some kind of internal strife, and because they feel like they don't deserve acceptance as a person. Creating "consequences" of the kind you describe will make it easier for everyone else, and fair enough if that's all you care for. But the bully is only going to have their fears validated by the exclusion, and is just as likely to bed in rather than admit they were wrong. The more difficult but more permanent fix is to help them feel accepted as a person and that it's okay to open up about what's really going on with them. But definitely boundaries should be set, and abuse should not be tolerated in the meantime.

I mean yes, but I see that as only part of the issue. The modern corporate owned world is highly dehumanizing. So many jobs demand the employees treat their customers like a number that it's not surprising the behavior has become pathological.

It's notable that the article concentrates almost entirely on the two individuals, not on the corporate culture that created intense stress for both of them.

We need more empathy. The last thing we need is more negative self-image.

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