As much as I enjoy neal's little games, I'm not going to be trying this one, unfortunately.
Present options to pick a username, email, social media, live text, live audio stream, live video, health data from a smart watch, teenage diary, ...
It already works in some way; e.g. even if one person has both a HN account and a Snapchat account, they would use these to talk to different people.
I showed it to a colleague from marketing as a 'look how bad up this is!' They asked 'cool, can we do that too?' sigh