Is it unfair for Apple to produce a product that cannot be upgraded by the end user (RAM specifically) and charge so much to do the upgrade before it gets to you? No, because you are not compelled to purchase it. This isn't like when AT&T leased phones, or MS forced OEMs to include Windows on all their systems (and had a >95% market share). Apple has no monopoly, they have no special sway with corporations and gov't (in fact, their absence in those fields and success despite it is somewhat remarkable and speaks well to their business acumen). If the prices are unreasonable, and people stop buying the products, the prices or the product will change.
Wasn't the Macbook Air similarly expensive when it was first released? Found it, $1799 for the base model when first released (http://www.apple.com/pr/library/2008/01/15Apple-Introduces-M...). People bought them, but the price came down on future versions. The same thing will happen here, and if it doesn't then it means the consumers don't mind.