> I simply cannot find a tomato that doesn't suck

Are you in Australia?

If so I feel your pain. The tomatoes available here taste of basically nothing. In the UK it was the same for most cheap/ordinary/mainstream tomatoes, but you could at least buy the fancy ones from the better/more expensive supermarkets and get something good.

Here in Aus that's not really even an option, the brown ones marketed as "Kumato" are the only thing I've found with really any flavour at all, when they're available. I can't really even find good ones at farmers markets or upmarket grocers, just the same "Truss", "Vine Ripened" and "Roma" varieties that are like crunchy water.