That is totally absurd. TeX is an awful programming language and there is no changing that. Either you accept it and suffer through it or use something else. But it obviously the worst thing about typesetting in any TeX derived system.
I remember in the '80s hearing that someone had written a Fortran compiler in troff, just to prove it could be done.
You must be fun at parties.
There's all kinds of weird stuff that people do, like the other day I saw a guy with a wingsuit that was apparently crafted from a carpet jump into the abyss to ride the winds. "I can not take people seriously who do not just use a carpet and jump off cliffs". You do you I guess.