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At Apple nobody uses Windows.

The entire bootcamp team is an empty chair with a note tacked on that says "brb in 15; lunch"

Is there still a bootcamp team? I thought they abandoned that with the shift to Apple silicon

You can still Bootcamp if you have an Intel mac, but yes, on Apple silicon it's dead

They do develop some Windows software, so I’m sure some do.

The company developing that probably operates under a different name.