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I'm sure I don't have to explain Christian theology to you. It's very sad that you have to go through this physical pain, as well losing faith as a result.

As for people who say one thing and do something else. People are fallen and hypocrites. I myself an still trying to do better, but I realize I'm still full of anger. I hope to better myself eventually.

Out of curiosity; did your spiritual life end with Christianity? Or did you continue your search?

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I stopped seeing anything as much as a unified Christian theology long ago and now I doubt that any two people sitting next to each other in a pew are even really worshipping the same god; god is merely an idea that each individual holds in their head. I think whatever part of the brain that allows one to believe in the supernatural is simply missing from me, but I wish I was capable of believing.

That's very interesting. But if two people are friends with a person, don't they have a different view of that same person? They might be friends with a different idea / perspective of that person, but it is still the same person.

It might not mean much to you, but I'll pray for you. I wish you the best!

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