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How do I analyze my sleep quality? I gauge how tired I am when I wake up... as man has done for eons.

At most a BLE chip to send data to your phone in a way that doesn’t touch the internet

I despise the modern "smart" device and actively look for "dumb" things, but if it's going to have a BLE chip in it, it needs to be updateable to fix vulnerabilities. There are mountains of devices from earlier years that are basically wide open radios now because of this.

Personally I'd much rather the damn thing just have a built-in display with hardware controls.

We're not talking about different modes off communication, we're talking about adding communication to a "device" that doesn't need it.

Bro are you serious? Those aren't things the average person wants.