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codedokode

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Because all things equal, women have no trouble finding someone to be unfaithful with in real life, I'd say.

Or if you want an even simpler answer: for the same reason the majority of users of ordinary dating websites are men.

Rates of adultery is roughly equal between the sexes, so you can take your misandry elsewhere.

There are appropriate consequences for infidelity, but I don't think getting scammed is one of them.

Doesn't being scammed and not getting any dates actually prevent cheating? Dirty men didn't get what they wanted, wasted their time and maybe some even gave up on their dreams.

The majority of users are men on all dating sites and apps.

I'd be really interested in reliable info about the gender ratio on Math Group apps. Also how their matching/scoring algo works. There must have been at least one ex engineer who leaked something.

I'll say it, the obvious no one wants to say: we've got a massive adult immaturity problem in our entire civilization. Not just men, but they're more able to act out their immaturity.

Absolutely. With social animals, we have a name for what is missing: “socialization.”

For so many men, they seem to have gotten the basic training but never finished the course. It’s the process of discovering that other people are different than you, that your unfiltered thoughts are bothersome to others, and that treating others as objects or targets will make you a pariah.

And the internet doesn’t prevent socialization, it substitutes it with an online version which fails to do the full job.

Go watch some movies from the 1930s or 1940s to see how expectations of men have changed. Yes, they are movies and idealized. But acting like an ass and then talking about why nobody will date you was not on the menu.

movies from the 30's and 40's are filled with male ego stroking and routine and casual misogyny.

Sure, and racism, and lots of other bad stuff. Doesn’t mean the bar for being a functioning male in society has fallen through the floor since then. My point was that the contrast is striking, not that 1940 was a time we should go back to.

True but not mutually exclusive with having social finesse, e.g. being “suave.”

Exactly.

I agree- cheating in my view is generally an immature way to deal with being unhappy and unfulfilled in a relationship- instead of taking responsibility, communicating, setting boundaries, and ending the relationship if necessary people try to pretend everything is fine and cheat in secret. I don’t agree men are “more able to act out.” It’s easier for women to cheat so they don’t even need to go online, but just stop turning down interest they were getting anyways.

The problem is much wider than simply people cheating on their spouses. It's the failure of people in aggregate to rein in their predator in virtually any interaction they can get away with being a predator.

I see what you’re getting at, but think predator is the wrong word. Narcissism might be more appropriate- it is just thinking about yourself and not caring about the well being of others or of the group. Usually rationalized by the idea that everyone else is as well, and if you don’t you’re just getting taken advantage of… which becomes increasingly true the more people act this way, a self fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah, you've got it. It's the inability to see oneself as a part of a larger harmonious whole they have responsibility to nurture.

I think this got so much worse during the covid pandemic. Really disheartening to see that when things get a little tough people become nasty and selfish, and create a new crisis within a crisis. I was naive enough to expect the opposite, that people would get some perspective and show some kindness, strength, and humanity.

That's what I mean when I say adult immaturity is rampant: an adult facing stress does not become nasty, selfish, nor act out creating a new crisis within the active crisis. That is small minded, "I'm the protagonist" thinking. While often a calm discussion with those in charge, communicating with peer-wise empathy, resolves everything.

It's funny you consider adultery to be a sign of immaturity.

I find the unfaithfulness being considered objectively abhorrent as a pretty narrow minded take but I'm curious why you don't think it's immaturity?

As far as I know, just by nature of there being more short than long relationships, In most cases cheating occurs rather early; so its a massive waste of time for every party. Seems short sighted and immature to me.

Not telling you you're wrong, just asking for a different take.

Outside the context or marriages I have no idea, but it appears in marriage, which is the context for Ashley Madison, cheating occurs when the marriage is well established, at about seven to years.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-myths-of-sex/202...

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-long-married-people-wait...

Never said it is or it isn't, just that the word adultery has adult in it.

Something to do with impulse control, keeping your word, and honest and open communication in the context of a relationship. Maybe there's a better word for it than immaturity.

Selfish

It's funny you consider immaturity to be limited to those under 18.

Its damning you don't.

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