My point was that HN hasn't changed in the way you said it has.
On another note: your comments frequently do come across as being a jerk, and quite an unpleasant one. I don't usually address that so directly, and especially not after a personal interaction, but I think in this case it might be helpful (at least I hope so).
This has been a problem on HN for a long time:
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39610617 (March 2024)
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20067503 (June 2019)
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19237577 (Feb 2019)
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13003328 (Nov 2016)
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10933740 (Jan 2016)
-- and I'm afraid it's still a problem (quite apart from this thread). I assume you don't mean to come across this way, because you frequently say things like "I am not just being a jerk", "I don't want to sound too critical" and so on, but that's not enough when you go on to say aggressive, insulting, and/or snarky things to the other person.
I'm not sure what to add beyond the same "would you please review the site guidelines and use HN in the intended spirit" that we've already been asking you for years. If you do intend to be a good contributor, I think the only way to do it is to double-check what you're posting and meticulously edit out the swipes. My guess is that your posts are coming across as nastier than you believe they are, so it's necessary to adjust in the opposite direction, and not by a small amount.
https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html