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Comment by tredigi | Hacker News Reader

> I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation.

That's just red pill BS right there. Somebody is nice, I'm jealous, so he must be incompetent+manipulative, how else can I justify to myself that I want to see him as bad and myself as good? So let's just equate nice with bad, then jerk must be good, so I can just be a jerk and feel good about it!

No, just don't. Incompetent or not, nice is always better than jerk/toxic/.. No matter what red pill folks tell you.

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Typical nice guy response.

I never said any of those things, that it was better to be a jerk or toxic, but you assume that I did.

The irony of this response is that I didn't actually claim that you said any of those things. I commented on the book's content and the summary you gave.

Thia reaction of yours is telling though. As well as how you finished your original message:

> niceness has become a huge red flag to me ever since reading that book. I much prefer someone who is good (in competence and/or in behavior) than someone who is nice.

"Niceness" as a red flag? How does that not confirm what I wrote and put you in the camp of those agreeing with the book's message?

> Say nice guys suck

> Somebody disagrees!

> "Typical nice guy response".

Don't do this. This pattern is easy to spot and you instantly lose all credibility.

> Don't do this. This pattern is easy to spot and you instantly lose all credibility.

The difference is, I don't go around telling you what to do. Be a nice guy if you want.

I simply stated my way of thinking, but it angers the "nice guys" and I get attacked for it.

Oh, and you're not the gatekeeper of credibility, nor do I care how "credible" my opinion is to you (what does that even mean?). Credibility of opinions is just more "nice guy speak".

> just more "nice guy speak".

Not credible and tedious to boot. I know you just learned of this "nice guy" conceit, and you're all excited about it, but I hope you grow out of it soon. Just because you have a new hammer doesn't mean everything is a nail.

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