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Comment by dclowd9901 | Hacker News Reader

… I have to think there’s also probably some manner of aerisolization when you spray with water too.

I’m actually really confused by why people like bidets so much. Maybe I just don’t get how they work? On paper, it just seems more prone to the aforementioned issue and also getting the rest of your groinal region as dirty as your anus.

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As a fairly hirsute gentleman, a bidet has been life changing for me. I am so much cleaner— the only way to be even cleaner would be to get in the shower! Now maybe that is all in my head?

But honestly if you’ve ever tried to clean, say, peanut butter out of a shag carpet using only dry paper… well you have some ideas of what my struggle has been. With apologies for the graphic image; hopefully it elicits a chuckle from someone :)

I've posted below about squat toilets, but you might want to try them if they are an option. Honestly, I'd glad I practiced a bit and learned to balance in a squat than have to sit on the (usually filthy) seats in most public toilets. But one of the most interesting things is that when you squat, your posterior is in a much more suitable position for the activity and there's a lot less cleanup required. Not always, but fairly often, the first wipe already results in such a clean tissue that you don't even need to bother with a second wipe. YMMV of course, and it also depends what you've been eating!

Is it true that some people are genetically unable to squat?

I imagine anyone born without legs would find it difficult, but that's generally a pre-birth injury rather than a genetic condition.

Some of the best, minimal-cleanup shits I've had were in Japan on a squat toilet. Also in the woods, over a cat hole; the ergonomics of squatting to poop work in our favor.

That might explain why I got bored with my COVID bidet and switched back to toilet paper - after COVID I got laser hair removal in the uh bidet region

This is gotta be one of the funniest HN comments I've seen in my decade+ here.

I'll happily accept my downvotes for this meta commentary.

As the book quips, "Everyone Poops"

I suffer the same affliction. When a bidet isn't available, baby wipes work.

Paired with hair removal, my quality of life has increased greatly.

right there with you, pal…

but honestly, it shouldn’t be a difficult concept for people to grasp. if a bird shit on your arm, would you wipe it off with a dry paper towel?

I’m sorry but that description was laugh out loud hilarious. Felt like I was reading David Sedaris.

I mean, normally I wouldn’t share, but you asked… my wife and I had terrible hemorrhoids to the point I was considering going to the doctor from using toilet paper. I bought a bidet and I’ve never had issues again. I’m happy to say my anus is the least inflamed it’s been in my life, and the hemorrhoids have completely gone away for us both.

If you had shit on your hands, would you consider them clean after wiping them with a paper towel a few times, or would you want to wash them with water? The same applies for your butt.

Different regions of the body, and different uses. Around the anus there's bacteria in a nice warm moist environment to go to town. I don't open doors with my asshole, so I'm happy with enough wipes to get any excess poop off, followed by a spray from a cheap cold-water bidet (or diaper sprayer, left over from when our child was in cloth diapers), followed by a wipe for drying.

Have you ever washed dishes? After the process are they cleaner or dirtier?

If you wash dishes by directly spraying them with the faucet, the dishes will get cleaner and food debris will get splattered around the sink.

If it gets that bad, wash the bidet afterwards.

Uhm… I've never been in japan. But in italy a bidet involves "soap"

And there was me thinking the soap was just that colour because it was made with olive oil...

If you shit on any other part of your body, would you be content with merely wiping it with some paper?

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