The experience is highly dependent on dosage (it's harder to fight the big dose) and on how willing you are to let go (of everything- all your storylines, loved ones, your life itself). The freakouts and struggles you see on youtube happen when one can't fully give in to it. IME, after the (very intense) come up, it is pure love and bliss. Going all the way feels like dissolving into god, and coming back you feel indescribably light and reborn. It's quite literally an ineffable experience at points, as if it turns off your mind (ego death/dissolution?) and you experience life temporarily from the heart with a completely non-dual view. (YMMV, I love the stuff but I also have a bit of experience in these more intense states; I work at a traditional ayahuasca healing center and usually drink 4 times a week). It's definitely not a recreational substance.