Better to be careful and let any individuals or communities tell you what they want. I have Roma connections in my family and at one point the word we’d use is ‘gypsy’. But, because I’m not Roma myself, if I came across some other group I wouldn’t assume I’m just allowed to say it to them.
For the sake of mass communication where you can’t really know your receiver, you have to do your best to just communicate whatever you need to (i.e. ‘a single approach’). Choosing to use a word that is ambiguous as to whether it is a slur is a bit unwise. I think it is probably unwise to do the same in personal interactions.
That attitude defaults to better at violence in a particular context gets to impose their will. Or whoever has the security forces to back them out of an inferiority situation.
You miss the part when I can arbitrarily warn you about a lot of things myself and then use any interpretation of rule breaking on your part to attack you.
I know it may sound harsh but this is where many end up going so let's make it explicit.