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Comment by ChrisMarshallNY | Hacker News Reader

I have found that anger is my problem; regardless of whether or not it’s justified.

Anger isn’t actually an “emotion.” It’s a reaction. It causes our body to generate a bunch of endocrine changes to “supercharge,” and also causes our thinking to simplify into a fairly binary “fight or flight” mode.

We don’t usually make good decisions, when we’re angry; which is exactly why demagogues have striven to make people angry, for time immemorial.

So if I’m angry, I do my best to put it aside (easier said, than done, most times), and avoid making important decisions, while I’m fuming.

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Im a huge fan of this mindset! A man’s search for meaning by viktor frankl is a brutal but good read partially about that mindset.

Somehow any problem in life could be reduced to nearly no stress/anxiety/anger/etc when I realized I could just.. choose to not have those responses. The drawback is you see others responding with extreme emotion and it can be difficult to accept their feelings as valid.

Seconding the recommendation for that book. It helped me grow as an individual.

Also the Emotional Intelligence book by Daniel Goleman. Its explanation of the Amygdala's role in fight or flight emotional regulation was very impactful for me.

> Anger isn’t actually an “emotion.” It’s a reaction.

All emotions are reactions.

> It causes our body to generate a bunch of endocrine changes to “supercharge,” and also causes our thinking to simplify into a fairly binary “fight or flight” mode.

All emotions have biochemical bases /consequences and impact cognition. In fact, fight or flight response is specifically mediated by adrenaline, which is not specific to anger, any mental or physical stress can trigger it.

I agree with your mindset, but this is interesting to me:

>Anger isn’t actually an “emotion.” It’s a reaction.

Are there emotions which are not reactions?

Well, the basic wisdom, as I have been told, is that anger is a reaction to fear, which is an emotion, but that’s a fairly unpopular PoV. Anger is “manly,” while fear is “wussy.”

No one likes to admit they’re frightened, but, in my experience, identifying the fear, and addressing that, is quite effective.

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." - Yoda, "A Long Time Ago".. ;-)

> Well, the basic wisdom, as I have been told, is that anger is a reaction to fear ...

Oh, that's very different from what I learned, and have seen, which is that anger is a reaction to not having control over something (that you do actually want control of).

So, when something occurs that's different to how a person wishes it to be (for whatever reason) they (can) get angry.

Maybe fear is the reason they seek control of that something though. The main times I feel anger are when people waste my time, because I lost time that I could have used for better purposes. I could see that ultimately being due to a fear of having too little time to do what I want to do in life.

> Maybe fear is the reason they seek control of that something though ...

Maybe sometimes, but it would be pretty rare.

At least for myself, and other people I know well.

Why else would you want control over something though? If not to make sure you get what you want. Which is driven by a fear of not getting what you want?

(A side note from an angry control freak thinking about this thread).

At that point I tend to agree it boils down to control which boils down to feat and it’s just very hard to admit.

> Which is driven by a fear of not getting what you want?

That really seems like trying to shoehorn a square into a circle, and doesn't make any sense to me personally.

If that's how you work though, then no worries. :)

> It causes our body to generate a bunch of endocrine changes to “supercharge,” > So if I’m angry, I do my best to put it aside (easier said, than done, most times), and avoid making important decisions, while I’m fuming.

strategy could be to make decisions and plans at time of emotional stability, and use times of anger for actions with full focus and resolve.

The old "When angry, count to 10 before you speak. If very angry, a hundred" advice is very wise!

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