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When people talk about third spaces, they usually mean a place you can casually show up to at 6pm (with or without family members), take a seat, and maybe chat with some familiar faces. As someone who grew up going to church, I feel like my church was neither my parents’ third place nor my own! It was simply a place we went to on Wednesdays and Sundays to worship our God. We would hang out afterwards, but that was limited to 0.2857 of our free afternoons/evenings.

I think the article gets it right in that the collapse of American third places goes beyond just church attendance. Ideal third places are things like guild halls, bars, parks; places where you can show up and no one asks why you’re there or what you did today. The leveling and inclusive aspect is key: you need to be able to bring anyone who might otherwise need a third place, and they must be greeted as just another conversation member.

This is how high school Super Smash Brothers days were at Blaine’s house: unlocked door, say hi

> We would hang out afterwards, but that was limited to 0.2857 of our free afternoons/evenings.

I fully believe you that church never felt like your third place. That disconnect between generations is a large part of why churches have declined. But speaking as a parent of small children—if your parents were allocating two nights a week to go hang out at church with church friends, that was absolutely a third place for them. Parents simply don't have enough time with other adults to justify hanging out for hours two nights a week with adults that we don't enjoy chatting with.

> The leveling and inclusive aspect is key: you need to be able to bring anyone who might otherwise need a third place, and they must be greeted as just another conversation member.

A month ago I attended a random Protestant denomination with my father-in-law that we'd never been to before in our lives and had no intention of joining. We went to the gathering after the service and were welcomed as part of the group. They had lots of questions for us because we drove across the country to get there, but there wasn't anything weird about it, it was just people hanging out chatting.

I do want to clarify that I'm not saying that there weren't other third spaces that have also declined. But church was the universal third space that almost everyone had and generally assumed that you had. You might also have been a Freemason or a member of the Elks Lodge or have gone to hang out at a coffee shop, but the rest of our third space infrastructure was all built on the assumption that church was already there filling a lot of the needs.

There used to be a bunch of places at least for working class (especially men): Elks, VFW, etc. Sports leagues after work for both professional and blue collar; my sense is those are a lot less common. We had a bunch where I worked 20+ years ago. My sense is whatever hadn’t petered out pre-Covid is gone now in many cases.

The extra rare variant is places you can go from 10 PM onward. Everything public closes at sundown which sucks for me who's heat and sun sensitive. Like it's fine, I guess at some point I'll catch a charge for trespassing but it would be nice if it was allowed officially.

> In your average US suburb or small town you'd have a hard time finding a home that isn't within walking distance of some church or another.

What??? Have you been to an American suburb? Yes, there are churches all over the place, but they can _never_ be walked to. Nothing can be walked to. Maybe they are so ubiquitous that it's only a 5-10-min drive, but that's the best you are gonna get.

I just dropped a pin in a random suburb outside Philadelphia, searched for churches, then tried to find the spot in the suburb that was the absolute furthest from a church. 0.8 miles, a 17 minute walk. Tried in again in a NY suburb and got 1.1 miles, a 22 minute walk. Tried in a suburb of LA, 0.6 miles, a 14 minute walk (and one that far was hard to find!). I'm deliberately avoiding the South where I expect this to be even more true.

Obviously this becomes harder if you need a particular denomination, but a lot of people just attend whatever's closest, and that's all my statement claimed—that there is a church within walking distance of basically everyone.

You're welcome to try this elsewhere and see if you get different results.

You may be right. Just did it in Katy Texas and got 24 minutes of, honestly, not a bad walk. I guess I'm just going off my experience, and when I was a kid, no one just went to the closest church. You went to _your_ church. My girlfriend's family was famous for changing churches all the time as soon as there was some philosophy they didn't agree with in their current one. Church with them always involved a pretty decent freeway drive.

No I literally don't know a single person who goes to church so... I don't really have a leg to stand on here. :D

Do you mean the Church is closed? I go to the Church often for worship and the Parishes are open very often, however its best to attend during Mass (Saturday evenings or Sundays) or other Holy days.

Also, most Churches plan many community events including volunteering opportunities and have other things like support groups. They will accept your request to join any of these, no question asked. You can check their websites for these details.

You are more than welcome to attend everything including Mass as an Atheist, if you feel like you need a place for solemnity, you can just sit in the back and observe or follow along!

P.S I'm a Roman Catholic but pretty much all Protestant Churches operate more or less the same.

They're very much intentionally walking distance: https://tylervigen.com/the-mystery-of-the-bloomfield-bridge

interesting article. has also been discussed here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37359193

We killed god awhile back but it seems like people are starting to realize it. I feel like you probably need to be able to believe in a god to join a religion, but I have never been able to despite trying.

That’s where I’m at. I wish my (hypothetical; future) kids could have the same church experience and community as I had, but I don’t know how I’d pull that without personally being a believer.