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debo_

Drummers are probably going to be the "attractive person" equivalent on this app lol

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What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the beat into a drum machine once.

(Had bands and multiple drummers. Love’m)

My Roland MC-505 is in violent agreement.

Sure, sure but can it still drum when you turn it completely upside down like Tommy Lee?

As long as the cables reach because it's a drum machine running from a program.

You can even go Marty McFly on the ground jamming on the keys and kick over the subs if you really want to.

EDIT: PS: If you kick over my sub, your foot will break from either the sub itself or this 6 pound sledgehammer foot detector. Fair warning.

What does a drummer use for birth control? Their personality.

(Agree with sibling posts, getting a great drummer is hard and amazing.)

Do you know what they call people who hang around with musicians?

Drummers.

How do you know the drum riser is completely level?

The drool comes out both sides of the drummers mouth.

How do you know that there's a drummer at your door? The knocking speeds up.

I’m slow. Can somebody explain all the drummer jokes? What’s wrong with drummers?

Often the drum pattern that best fits into a song is simple/boring. Maybe stereotypically, it's hard for the drummer to resist "overdoing" the drums.

I think there's a metaphor that can be applied to software engineers.

They beat on things with sticks, like a caveman. It's low hanging fruit. The bass player often cops it to a lesser extent as well, it's how singers and guitar players retain our false sense of superiority. We actually usually love our drummers (but only if their playing is on form, otherwise they cop abuse).

Hard to find a good drummer. If you're in a developing world country, even harder because drum kits take up valuable space.

Pro tip: Having a hard time finding a good drummer? Steal one from another band. Of course, your band has to treat them better than the old band. This is a time-tested and proven stratagem.

There are jokes about all instruments, but some seem to get the brunt of them. In orchestra it’s the viola

we’re the coolest, it makes the note players jealous.

you meant to say "good drummers"

We did have a drummer but unfortunately he died in a bizarre gardening accident.

Now technically he died by choking on his own vomit. But the thing is - it wasn't his vomit. But you can't very well fingerprint vomit, innit?

I heard you've gone through quite a few drummers, actually.

List of Spinal Tap Drummers, all deceased https://zeroenthusiasm.tumblr.com/post/47032679583/list-of-s...

On stage or off? (What? There could be a band that does live gardening as part of its routine.)

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