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OP’s remark just reminded me of something more general not necessarily in that remark that really has been bothering me. It wasn't very clear that I was going off on a tangent, and I tried to keep it lighthearted in a hamfisted way that ended up being more condescending than I intended, and then I got more defensive about it than I should when it wasn’t received well. Sorry about that - thanks for keeping me honest.

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For what it's worth, when I (the author of that first comment) first read your comment, my thought was "wait, how is this responsive to what I wrote?". But now I've read this whole thread, and while I do think it was a bit of a tangent not super directly related to what I wrote, I have found it interesting and reflective in a positive way. And I agree with your broad point about empathy and such.

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