Good read and I simpathise. Dealing with publicity can be horrible. You need such a thick skin and self confidence not to be moved by insults and demands coming with people actually start using what you created.
This is a big culture problem driving a ton of good people away to avoid annoying jerks who deserve to go.
It's a "big culture problem" in the same way profit maximization is the destroyer of modern businesses. Everyone uses Open Source software; annoying teenagers, political dissidents you disagree with, state actors, and businesses that will ignore your license (cough Tesla cough). If you don't rise above it, the the world isn't going to change according to your whims.
Also I never said anything about an “unstable core contributor”.
I fully disagree that nothing can be done about this. I never said people shouldn’t have to deal with disagreements or unlicensed use. Yeah that’s going to happen.
All I’m saying is projects should take a much much harder line on abusive/rude treatment. The people who act that way will never change if they don’t face consequences. When project A puts up with it, they learn they can do it to B and C too.
But if A and B stood up, maybe C and D wouldn’t even see it.
It will never be zero. But it can be a lot less than it is now.