Personally, I'm in favor of nuking the Moon. The Moon is moving away from the Earth at a steady rate. I consider this an act of secession.

Not only would nuking the Moon teach it a lesson, it might also keep it in our orbit. All we have to do is nuke the far side of it enough times to stop the outward movement. If we do it too much, it's an easy fix-- just nuke the near side.

Anyone who opposes this idea is for a moonless Earth, and all the chaos that would bring. I call them anti-tiders. They're the most despicable people on the planet.