I am totally fine with closed-source/commercial licenses, but please don't do a "Like Apache 2.0 but not really" type of license. It just confuses everyone.
You can pick from SSPL, BSL, Elastic license among others if you don't want to roll out your own.
> 2. As a contributor, you should agree that: a. The producer can adjust the open-source agreement to be more strict or relaxed as deemed necessary. b. Your contributed code may be used for commercial purposes, including but not limited to its cloud business operations.
This is not very contributor-friendly.
You could consider keeping an open-source core, and extensions for paid features.