But I was stressed about some work stuff so I quickly moved on to pulling my project's repo and getting back to work. A week later, my project goes absolutely berserk with warnings and failures, which trace back to files / lines that shouldn't exist.
Turns out, I had dropped my repo into a directory managed by Windows OneDrive, and OneDrive had backed everything up and subsequently decided (for some reason I still haven't figured out) to start restoring and reverting deleted / changed files. My realization of this began with "What the fuck is a OneDrive?" tl;dr it's Microsoft trying to sneakily take over all your data / force you into its cloud services. I'd actually briefly spotted the name and turned it off, but it had taken that to mean "until tomorrow", of course.
Anyway, it's on me, right? I was distracted and lazy. Sometimes it takes a good old mugging to get back in the right defensive mindset.